Tinfoil Masks
I dropped my daughter off at primary school today, and I noticed some glaring eyes peering at me from behind face masks. I, like all other mask-dodgers in my little Scottish town, am a healthy white male, so my blatant disregard for the superstition known as ‘Covid-Safety’ marks me out for additionally scolding gazes.
I’m almost desperate for one of these judgemental busy-bodies to ask me why.
‘Because I’m allergic’, I will reply. ‘To masks?’ they say, in my imagination. ‘No, to bullshit’, is my imagined response.
Although, none of the mask wearers are bold enough to challenge me, or anyone else. That’s why they all wear masks.
This strikes me as especially odd today, since, according to the ONS, the UK reached ‘herd immunity’ (to COIVD-19) three days ago. And yet, the Karens and the Germ-stapo persist in their fear campaign.
The sun is shining, the hospitals are empty, the Nightingales were never needed, and yet the shops are still shut tighter than the records at an SNP party disciplinary hearing.
Nazi Nicola’s ‘Scottish Government’ is still blaring propaganda on every radio station and TV channel, warning people not to hug their relatives. To do so will induce death, chaos, summon the anti-christ and amounts to an act of ‘giving in’, we are repeatedly told.
Strange language, ‘giving in’.
I’m 35 and I remember when I joined the Army cadets being warned about being seen in Glasgow wearing my uniform because it might make me an IRA target at 13 years old. A teenage Army Cadet had his hands removed by a sabotaged flashlight at an army base in London that year (or some time thereabouts). But, in all my 35 years, and having worked as a civil servant for the MoD and served in the University Royal Naval Unit, we never stopped going about our business. Not even when the University mosque at Aberdeen complained about us wearing our military uniforms on Remembrance Sunday parade, which deeply offended their sensitive hearts as we marched down the High Street past their building.
When drummer lee Rigby was beheaded on the streets of London, we ‘carried on’. When 9-11 happened, we carried on. In fact, through every Irish or Islamic shooting or bombing event of my lifetime, I have been very upset to hear from the government, that our national plan was to ‘carry on’. As if nothing had happened.
The borders will not be closed, the police will not be armed and we will not arrest people who known to have fought against British troops in Iraq, but have somehow been allowed to return to the UK and live in a council house.
When Sarah Everard left her ‘stay at home’ order behind to visit a friend, and was allegedly murdered by an agent of the state (who clearly felt exempt from such rules, among others), protesters were dutifully told by the Police that they should not be upset, and should simply ‘carry on’, without a fuss. Or get nicked.
So why is it that suddenly in March 2020, the country that has carried on through the Great War, the Spanish Flu, the Blitz, through D-Day, through the IRA, the Jihadists and through Swine flu, Ebola and Zika outbreaks , our Government has suddenly decided that it is ‘giving in’ to covid if we ‘carry on’ with our lives as they once were?
What has changed exactly?
Perhaps there are more wealthy baby boomers finally scared of dying to influence policy in such an extreme way? Maybe the hoardes of childless, self-sterilised career women have reached critical mass and are so desperate to preserve their last year or two of fertility that the panic porn on the internet has given their neuroticism a misplaced target? Perhaps the government needs to reduce the population, but thinks that isolation, stay at home orders, cutting 10,000 NHS beds and pushing dodgy vaccines is a preferable method to war with a thermonuclear power?
Personally, I think we live in the age of narcissism. We have abandoned what made us a nation. Our protestant values.
Christ would not ask my 2-year-old son to spend a year avoiding playgroups, and risk becoming a sociopath for lack of interaction with peers so that an 82-year-old might get an extra week of life. And nobody who believed that we were made in the image of God would ever allow our government to convince us that we do not have a functioning immune system.
Whatever the flip is going on, it does feel like the forces of darkness have taken over our government(s).
I think I’m going to see if my doctor will diagnose me with an anxiety exemption, so I can have my ‘papers’ at the ready for when the mask maniacs start going door to door with machetes at the next lockdown. (3rd or 4th wave anyone?)
Will the doctor accept my feeling that ‘the mask makes me think my government is trying to kill me‘, is a valid source of anxiety?
Will it stop the superstitious mob when they come looking for
‘Rule-Breakers’ to blame for the excess deaths next winter, that will actually have been caused by 2 years of stupidity by the government?
The deaths from alcoholism, abuse and depression alone caused by the UK governments stay at home orders will only fuel the mob looking to blame those heretics who ‘didn’t follow the rules’ religiously enough.
We healthy, young, white, protestant mask-dodging patriarchal males.
One time that I do wear a mask is in communal areas at work, so I don’t get fired.
The other times are when I intuit that the social media and MSM fear campaign is occasionally at its seasonal zenith, and I can palpably feel the witch-hunting instinct from the mob, at supermarkets and such.
I wear my mask on those occasions as a talisman. Like a Black Republican in the US slapping on a Democrat party bumper sticker before parking his car in downtown Portland.
It is a superstition, after all. Masks neither prevent you from catching respiratory viruses, nor from transmitting them. Real science says so. And so, I recognise the mask for what it is. A charm, that tells the crowds of Salem, I am not a witch!
Next winter, during the predictable 3rd wave of Covid-19( By the way, if there are 4000 variants, and the year is now 2021, why haven’t we moved on to Covid-20, or Covid-21? Strange, no?), I will go one further. I will increase the power of my mask.
It will be made of tin-foil. This will create a Farraday cage around my head and prevent the space aliens and the jews from controlling my mind. I will inscribe it with pentagrams, and bible verses, just to be safe. And when I drop my daughter off at primary school, I will scold the Karens and the dad-Karens for being so selfish as not to follow my latest ‘rules’.
Check-mate!